My newborn and my dlozis…

My newborn and my dlozis…

First Published in Mail & Guardian 17th April 2014

I’ve been blessed.

Actually, my whole family has been blessed – half a dozen new bundles of joy in less than a year for us, and I get to sleep next to one every night.

And I get to call him son…


Click on the above link to read the rest. Enjoy


Do I want my kids growing up with Quotas & Affirmative Action? (for my white SAns)

First Published in Rapport, December 2013


My friend Waldimar (the Rapport Editor) asked me if I wanted my children to grow up in a world of Employment Equity (EE) and all the quotas and acronyms that comes with it.

It’s a profound question. One that implies an inherent threat posed by this EE.

Is there?

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Yup… as the video says, I shouldn’t have left you, without some strong words to step to…

So askies. Let’s get to blogging again!

It’s Been a Long Time…

100 Days Left For 2013 Dreams

Originally posted on visualiseplanachieve:


With only 100 days left of 2013 write down 100 goals that you want to achieve by 31 December 2013. If you review these once daily for the next 100 days, you will have achieved more than 50% of them.  Small things count like drinking more water, flossing and praying twice a day daily,  smiling more often and getting things started.

Now go Visualise Plan Achieve and remember to write these at a place so convenient that even when you are away from home, you will continue repeating the affirmations to yourself;  your phone is your best bet. Also ensure that you use only positive words, this means you replace the ‘Nays’ with the ‘Yays’. Here is an example below.

‘By 31 December 2013 I will stop smoking’ (‘stop’ is the negative word)

‘By 31 December 2013 I will be smoke free’

This positive reinforcement transforms your goal from a…

View original 6 more words

So, how about some Braai Day thoughts to go with those chops….

The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.” – Milan Kundera

When I was a kid I grew up knowing today’s now holiday as “Shaka Day”.

It was awesome, having a whole day named after me. Of course as time passed it got a little less awesome – for one thing the day was renamed to an infinitely less sexy name – Heritage Day. And the other, well, It’s not so cool celebrating the day our greatest nation- builder was killed.


Isn’t it telling how many of our public days mark the death of our people?

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The Cape Liberalism Project

“If we leave the natives beyond our borders ignorant barbarians, shut out from all community of interest from ourselves, they must always remain a race of troublesome marauders… feeling this we should try and make them a part of ourselves, with a common faith, and common interests, useful servants, consumers of our goods, contributors to our revenue; in short a source of strength and wealth for this colony, such as providence intended them to be.”

Sir George Grey, governor of the Cape (1854 – 1861)

(Quoted in Jeff Pieres “The Dead will Arise”)

Sir George Grey

Sir George Grey

Culturally Speaking…

First Published in City Press, 21 July 2013

Some months ago I found myself in a really strange position, facing a rock wall whose bricks were separated by a strange sort of plaster – little pieces of paper!


No, it’s not me, but a young Jewish chap at the Wailing Wall. Note the white pieces of papers stuck in the crevices…

I too had a little piece of paper in my hand on which I had surreptitiously written a wish.

It was the stock standard wish that I make whenever I am required to blow out candles, blow an eyelash or wish upon a star.

I was in Jerusalem, facing the wailing wall. All around me were the loud cheers of people who had congregated from all over the world to have their son’s and nephew’s bar mitzvah ceremonies in this holy place. Others were standing next to me, praying, and writing down their own wishes before sticking them in the crevices of the wall.

This, the Western Wall, of a temple said to have been build by Solomon over 2 500 years ago, is now a place of pilgrimage. Folks come to the wall, the last remnant of the temple, because the centre is a sacred shrine upon which Jewish people who aren’t cleansed may not walk. To be cleansed congregants would need to slaughter a red heifer. Which are extinct. So to the wall it is.

And that’s the closest to divinity for some.

It seems kind of fantastic, doesn’t it? Not unlike why we South Africans wash our hands in aloe when coming back from a funeral, or burn candles when speaking to our ancestors, or slaughter a goat or sheep after the birth of a newborn.

In Jerusalem people speak to walls and in another part of the city, some kneel in the direction of Mecca a couple of times a day, and the Christians line up to touch a hole in the ground that the cross of Jesus had been stuck into.

You see ultimately culture, tradition and faith are less about logic than symbolism, belief and most importantly, choice.

And my own choice, as an African man, in the practice of my traditions has been impinged upon at many times in history.

Flashback to 1884, when a hut tax was introduced by the British administration in now South Africa and Zimbabwe. Each hut in every homestead was taxed.  The tax could be paid in monies or livestock or even labour, ensuring that hundreds of young men left their homes to work on roads, in mines and on farms.

Of course there were an exception – if the African family had a European-styled house, and only one wife, they wouldn’t have to pay the tax at all. And so the seed was sown: being African is costly.


This guy obviously had the right idea, and best-of-both-worlded it

Too often the relevance of a lifestyle has been decided for African people, not by African people.

This reality came to mind often in the past fortnight amidst the discourse on how chiefs and kings are appointed and deposed, of polygamy and of initiation schools.

The haunting question of “why do you still practice that?” loomed ever present in the ether.

Certainly there is much archaic with the world. Like the colour white at our weddings. And certainly culture is dynamic. But beneath these often archaic rituals lies conventional wisdom, and the soul of what defines a people. Mandela himself reflected that it was growing up exposed to the Bunga system of government that informed his staunch belief in democracy.

I dare say that as we urge each other to “let go” of ancient things, we also interrogate the rationale behind them.

And as we “modernify” our traditions, perhaps we can be more deliberate in what we’re changing and why.

In the matter of our initiation schools, I think again of those Jewish folks and their mohels, highly respected doctors or rabbis trained, accredited and supervised in the practice of circumcision. It is time to institutionalise andprofessionalise our practices; no lives are worth rhetoric.

Oh, and whilst we’re looking up other cultural practices, I’m hoping the recent resignation of the head of the South African Revenue Service could be the start of a arakiri trend. That’s the Japanese ritual where someone cuts open their bowels with a sword after having disgraced their family or community. Look, I don’t mean anyone should commit suicide, but imagine the culture that would be bred if our people exited stage left once mired in controversy.

I know my political family could do with that, cadres who fall on their swords and jump once the movement comes into disrepute, and not wait, and wait, and hope to not be pushed or reshuffled.

The Mandela family mirrors us all

First Published in City Press July 7, 2013


When I first started to write this piece, it was to throw my trusty pen’s weight behind o’Mandela and their cry for privacy.

Inspired by one newspaper headline, the one that curiously screeched “secret family meeting”, as if anyone’s family meetings are ever public, I wanted to tell you two stories.

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One Day a Leader?

First Published in City Press, April 14, 2013

A reflection on the One Day Leaders show I was a part of at the time. 


Many years ago two struggle figures heads were flying over Mthatha on their way to visit Madiba. One, a Dr Motlana looks out of the window as the plane comes in for landing and seeing the dire conditions of the locals asks, almost rhetorically “what can such poverty produce?” 

Quick as a flash the other, a General Holomisa responds “Leaders.”

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The King and I: A <3 lost (Remembering Michael Jackson)

Four years after Michael Jackson’s shocking passing, I dust off an old note I wrote in it’s wake.


First Published on Facebook July 12, 2009

No more than 3 days ago my ESP kicked in and I picked up the phone to call a friend who was in tears at the time. Now we all know how us men just fall to pieces when a woman cries. I was duty-bound to panic.

“What’s wrong???” I almost wailed.

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